I acknowledge a reluctance when I first picked up The Secret Lives of Baba Segi’s Wives by Lola Shoneyin. It took several attempts to get past the blurb and connect with the story. At its centre are Bolanle, the “educated wife” and her decision to get married to Baba Segi, a man with three other wives and seven children. I struggle to wrap my head around this decision as I read on. Her complicated relationship with her mother mirrors mine with the book. Like the older woman, feeling betrayed by the choice she willingly makes for herself, I wonder why the author confines her to it as I trudge along page after page during my first reads.
Bolanle is a young woman with the world at her feet, I assumed. Who, from the brief hints offered, performed well enough to get a professional job. Why is the choice to become a fourth wife forced on her by the author? I wonder. Why constrain her and, by proxy, women this way? And yet, with each chapter, I am drawn deeper into the contained world —under the self-delusions of Baba Segi that she and the other wives live. As the façade strips away, I question the presumptions I had coming into the story and weigh these against the facts of living life on this continent, more so as a woman.
Delicately the author unravels the lives of each of the characters while treating the reader to the skilful weaving of the multiple individual and collective conditions in The Secret Lives of Baba Segi’s Wives. She contrasts this weaving to the unfolding gentle tug at the tightly held threads that form the togetherness of the Abalo household. As the story unfolds, along with the mounting desire to see Bolanle catch a break, is the growing apprehension of the pulling apart happening in the peripherals of the Abalo household. Finally, the collision with the truth is unavoidable as her “coming-to-self” triggers a state of “coming-undone” that threatens the Abalo household.
As we come up to the casualties of the arrivals of the main characters to the Abalo home, we see the author deftly embody experiences that are common to women across the continent in them. We wade through the different yet similar states. Defined by and therefore constrained to the elements of their gender/sex. In Iya Segi, we confront the pressure for women to be married. Marriage and child-bearing are more “worthy” choices than owning one’s destiny in other ways, such as pursuing a business or other activity. As the older women determine, “She has entered the age of shame” her possibilities are whittled down. She must apply ingenious methods to counter this. For the simpler Iya Tope, her life and future are a trade-off when a business transaction fails. As she laments, “…the choices we have to make in this world are hard and bitter…” Iya Femi is a harsh reminder of the “Art of giving up” as she speaks of learning not to dream but make do with the harsh reality she is confined to. Each carries the secrets of their journey to the Abalo home when Bolanle walks into it. With time she is no longer the prized “graduate wife,” her stature tainted by the fact that two years later, she is Iya to none. Childbearing is a more important virtue.
Bringing them together is Baba Segi, a man filled to the brim by his standards. Under his firm grip is the illusion of happiness and family. He prides himself in his virility —on display with the number of wives and children he keeps. Coupled with a modicum of business success, he perceives himself as wealthy and well-satisfied, with nothing to stop his intentions. And now, he has succeeded where few other men had dared not, marrying a university graduate for a fourth wife.
But this book is about the women who anchor its story, their present as much as their past. To showcase each in fuller depth, the author treats us to a before and after for each character. The reader catches a glimpse of the unique motivations of each character, the choices made for them, and the ones they make for themselves after. Beyond the characters they are in the Abalo home, we see the young women they were and the women hoped to be before being propelled into this present condition. The most defining contrast is with Bolanle, whose coming-to-self process is thrust against the firmly held state of togetherness of the household she walks into.
The author also employs foretelling/foreshadowing to provide glimpses into what is to come. Perhaps the most telling is the declaration by Iya Segi “… she will expose our private parts to the world…” when Bolanle arrives. As feared, the presence of Bolanle exposes the cracks in the homestead as her innocuous actions send ripples of chaos across the home. Iya Segi fights hard to rid them of this onslaught on their well-being. Desperate, she employs drastic measures.
I arrive at the end of the story with a mix of emotions. The Secret Lives of Baba Baba Segi’s Wives is a beautifully told collision of fates. When Lara accuses her mum of punishing her for “…not pursuing your dreams…” I can’t help but think of my attitude towards Bolanle at the start and how while I have resisted the attempts of others to live vicariously through me, I have enforced my dreams on others. Whose dreams am I following, I ask as I read on? At its end, I celebrate the resilience and fortitude of the women who anchor the story though I am saddened too that they have to be these things. Nonetheless, like them, I am who I am because of what I have been.
The Secret Lives of Baba Segi’s Wives was Longlisted for the Orange Prize for Fiction 2011 and Published by Serpent’s Tail.
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